Working together with your ex to make better homes for your children

My ex and I have been divorced for 9 years, I still joke with people that I’m happily divorced. I hear so many stories of exes who hate each other. My ex and I aren’t like that, we’ve worked together to make a good home life for our children. If either needs to change the schedule we both accommodate. We’ve never used our children as pawns. If my ex wants to take my child on my day, we usually try to trade. We never argue about our schedules. Many of the hard and fast rules we stated in our mediation, doesn’t apply anymore. It is hard to raise children in separate homes with two sets of rules, especially when they become teenagers. I think my child is growing up to be a well rounded individual. I see traits reminding me of mommy but I think those traits are at least 50% diluted. In all seriousness, I feel like I picked correctly the individual I married and although the marriage didn’t last, the person I chose to be a part of my life was a pretty good choice.

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As They Grow Up.

Bed time has become a bonding time in our family. Whenever my child is ready for bed, they come into my room and we sit and watch an episode of Gilligan’s Island. They sing the theme song, they can’t believe how stupid the show is but they love it. My child’s favorite character on the show is Mrs. Howell. I always watched the show from Gilligan’s eyes but it’s cool to hear a different perspective.

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and a Happy Daddy’s Day

Yea only 4 posts since last daddy’s day. I love you so much dad and to all the wonderful daddy’s in the world. Seems harder and harder to come in here as my child gets older and less to share.

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Happy Mommy’s Day & Thoughts From a Daddy.

First off I must say Happy Mother’s Day Mommy to the most wonderful mother in the whole world. It seems the posts are becoming fewer as my child gets older. Usually a friend spends the night or they spend the night with a friend. I don’t see them as much as usual. They don’t tell me as much as they used to. New words for different meanings. Daddy isn’t as cool as he used to be unless he can figure out a favorite song on the guitar so my child can sing it. Would I be selfish for dating part time? Doesn’t seem like I’ve been able to throw myself back into the dating scene. Doesn’t seem fair that my child is # 1 in my life and a date would have to be # 2. Most people don’t look at love and life the same way. I think people can be selfish and what makes them feel better is all that matters. Yes I would like to be with someone, just not comfortable dating, introducing and explaining to my child why I don’t see that person anymore. Ugh. There is a time frame for courting and now at this point in my life, I see ladies who are out discovering the world traveling or doing outdoor activities or doing things I wouldn’t want to do. They all hike, maybe I’d like to if I tried more. They all have dogs and I’m becoming a person who doesn’t care for many of the dog owner, the dog is fine. Maybe I’m wrestling with self esteem issues, not in the best shape of my life and I get older and older. Again UGH. Had to share, please take care. I love you mom.

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Where does the time go?

October to April, an entire life goes by in 6 months. My child is growing so fast, bedroom doors stay closed a lot, teenager in the making and it’s tough on dad. No more kisses and hugs like it used to be. Their alone time is now called Chillaxing. I can’t believe they’ll be driving my car in only 2 years. Egads. Middle school now and grades have been good, a year on the honor roll means something is going right in their lives. Daddy couldn’t be happier.

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It was all I could think to say. Sometimes in life, you get so busy, it doesn’t seem there’s enough time to sit and write, parenting becomes tops in priorities. Have been proof-reading for my Church. My child is growing up so quickly, daddy is kind of becoming irrelevant. Middle school has started and all seems well, grades are good, lot’s of sports. We’ll be back. Cheers.

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Happy Daddy’s Day

Yea, I know, it should read Happy Father’s Day but a Daddy is a father. I love mine so much and I hope you all love your daddy, just as much as I and if you don’t have a daddy, I hope you have lot’s of love in your life or maybe you might find it. Have a Great day!

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You can see the person they are becoming.

I was taking my child to swim lessons, now a pre-teen. The drive from our house is less than 10 miles to the pool but lots of farm land in between. My child said “see all this land dad” and I said “yes” and they said “why can’t they build an Old Navy out here”. I said “oh out here , huh? Do you think an Old Navy would do well in Warren, Oregon? The reply “yea, an Old Navy, Macy’s, Nordstrom’s even Target because Fred Meyer isn’t working for me anymore.” This coming from a child who never has to buy anything, who isn’t old enough to tell what’s good and what isn’t. “Dad, Fred Meyer’s does not have any good clothes.” I realize it takes two to make a person so I’m not blaming myself.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Well, we wouldn’t have Daddy if we didn’t also have mommy and also a Happy Mother’s Day mom, I love you!

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They don’t stitch up dog bites

Wednesday I get a call from my ex who says our child has just been bitten by the neighbor dog. I dashed over there and beings that we live far from town the Urgent care center was long past closed so we had to drive 20 miles to a hospital in the city. The mother called my ex and said the dog nipped our child. They gave our child a dirty dish rag and told them they needed to walk home. Walk home? Nip? Our child was attacked and through the sobs said the dog started attacking and wouldn’t stop and kept biting and biting. Blood was everywhere, arm gash, shoulder gash, deep side wounds, so the dog was obviously going for the organs, back scratches. The father beat the dog in front of all these kids. My child had to walk home, it was awful. Four hours later we left the emergency room, antibiotics needed and more trips to the doctors to come. My ex called the mother who then started crying that the dog was only a puppy (quite a big bull mastiff) The police went to the home at 11:00 where 7 kids said their mommy and daddy weren’t at home but one child did tell the police that their mommy had gone to the home but the lady slammed the door in her face. First off that is irrelevant, secondly My ex barely had time to call me and we left for the hospital. We could only hope we had been there to slam the door. My ex was breathing fire and lighting bolts were shooting from her hair. What do I do? I’m a concerned daddy. I want to talk to the dog owners. The mother said the kids were teasing the dog and my child said no dad, the three of us were sitting on the couch watching TV and the dog jumped on the couch and started growling. My child was probably sitting in that dog’s spot. Had the mother brought my child home said she was attacked and what could she do, would’ve made a better situation but now we have to go the legal route and it’s sad. Had this been their younger sister, she wouldn’t have been able to protect herself and could’ve been killed. Lucky we didn’t have any facial injuries, remember, no stitching dog bites. Cheers!

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