Our Mission

 

 

Our mission is to help daddy’s become more involved in the lives of their children and to get exes to work together to become better co-parents. Communication is probably the number one reason for the collapse of any marriage and after divorce, we must now have even better communication with that ex to have any chance at being good co-parents.

These are experiences faced for single fathers with or without joint custody, raising their children, trying to learn how to date again and eventually unite it into a family again. Living in a small community of 6,000 people.  We admit to failing at our first marriage and take equal blame for that failure but hope to use those experiences to learn and grow from them.

Parenting roles change quite a bit when raising a family as a single dad. Our experiences are very similar, through marriage, divorce and now the raising of those children. We hope this blog will lend support to a book we would like to write and hope you will feel comfortable, by giving the community, personal parenting advice. Our book will cover many of our personal trials faced along this journey. We strive to become better fathers and better co-parents and hope you will take something from this site to help you better understand the journey for your own family.

2 Responses to Our Mission

  1. MG says:

    Hello,

    I have a question I’d like to put out there to your forum.

    I am the stepmother of a 3 1/2year old girl who comes to visit her dad every weekend. Our questions and complications are kind of the reverse of many things I am reading on your site and others.

    We try very hard to give consistent guidance and discipline in our home but only having her 2 nights a week we are finding any progress is lost. Our little one tends to get whatever she wants at her mother’s and now is at the age of saying no to everything. She yells and demands for things in a way we aren’t ok with. When she says no to her mother, she gets told she will get candy or something she wants. When she is here we try to communicate with her that she needs to cooperate, listen and it’s not okay to be rude and demanding. We understand she is only 3, but we are trying to introduce that she needs to do as asked and she currently is working on, No to everything unless given something, and even then it’s up to her.

    My husband finds it difficult because he doesn’t want to constantly be begging her to listen or constantly making her cry cause she isn’t getting what she wants. We only have her for 2 nights and want to enjoy and love her every second. It’s hard when she is putting up a fight for everything and we don’t give like her mother.

    Her mother often says to my husband when she asks for things from us, says she is exhausted from having her all week and all we do is play all weekend. It is much more than that, we deal with the same parenting issues just for a shorter time period but it’s still just as challenging. She holds a lot of resentment that she is the single parent 5 days a week, we try and offer as much help as possible but she is also reluctant to accept it or see we are there to help. Due to that resentment, she doesn’t communicate well when my husband tries to address things, often times he is not taken seriously or it gets turned around.

    How should we deal with being consistent in our home when it’s so different from the rest of the week and should we address things with her mother?

  2. admin says:

    I can totally understand your frustrations. As a single father I probably spoil my child more than I should, but they are my World. I think children from divorced parents still grow up to be okay people. Stay true to yourself and parent exactly how you think they should be parented. Trust in your instincts. Yes there are two homes with differing rules and she’s still young and will act out but it will get better. I always believed it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t have my child for 3 1/2 days a week, I will never be okay with that but it’s now easier to cope. Marriages fail because our communication as partners breaks down, so now daddy with your help and his ex need to have even better communication than they did before. How do we do that? I don’t know what levels of anger or resentments there is between exes and/or family members but somehow we need to get over the anger, become good co-parents and communicate so yes by all means discuss how you feel with the child’s mother. She may not be receptive but trying now is a start and things will get better over time and your stepdaughter will learn that she needs to be respectful when she’s in your home and won’t get her way by acting out. I understand the mother’s side, who feels she does the majority of parenting and the main disciplinarian but over time you can help the message should be that both her mom’s and dad(s) love their child and although they live in different houses, they are still a family. Give your stepdaughter some reason, maybe a spark so she can’t wait to come over next time to see you and dad and I’m not talking toys and money. This time together is so short and should be extra special, it’s your time to influence. If I only were able to see my child on minimal days, I would probably even spoil them worse than I do now, gosh that’s a scary thought. Your concern already shows who you are as a person and how much you care. Good luck in the advice search, thanks for sharing and please comeback and let us know how the relationship is working.

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