Teens to adulthood

I started this blog 10 years ago and find I’m writing less and less. My child is a teen and soon to be an adult. They don’t want people to know what’s going on in their lives nor having it put on social media. I think I’ve parented well. My child and I have a good relationship, my child and their mother (mommy) have a good relationship and I have a good relationship with my child’s mom (mommy). My child is getting good grades in school, is active in their Church. Has been admitted to the National Honor society among the many other things I could brag about them to you. I think Daddy’s house – Mommy’s house has been a success. Cheers!

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I think its wrong for a parent to try to teach their children a lesson… depending on what it is.

When your child has done something wrong, we first punish them and then many times we want to teach them a lesson. Whatever those actions may be, we have a need to let them know what their consequences might or will be if this were to happen again. My child left a very important paper at home, called me and asked me to get and bring to them. I did it without hesitation. Why make life harder for them? Perhaps if I teach them a lesson and not take them the paper, my actions can then cause an unwanted cascade effect. Not my fault their grades suffer, etc. etc.  and we may be talking about a child with homework in two homes, but which home? We think our lessons will make them remember the  next time and then they won’t forget something (anything?). What happens is we role play this out in order to protect them but this may never happen again, if it does happen again they learn their own lesson and then know the consequences. I think we hope to save them from those consequence. We create scenarios that are in the future, what we think they might face. If it’s illegal troubles those are different life lessons. Careful how you teach your children and do your lessons make life more difficult for your children?

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Daddy’s Tip: Listening to your partner

This is a Daddy’s Tip. Guys whether you’re married or single with a girlfriend this tip will save you countless hours of communication problems. When you first get home from work and your spouse or girl friend has greeted you, drop everything, settle in and allow them to vent about their day. You may usually need to give them 30 minutes but be a good listener and don’t try to solve any problems for them because there probably isn’t a problem in the first place. Just listen, if you can take it all in and can get by on 30 minutes a day, it will do wonders for your relationship. She may not need 30 minutes but you better listen and be attentive, if you can do this, it goes along way for you both emotionally and helps you learn how to just be a better listener for your partner and might become a better listener as a parent too.

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Time Flys

I want to tell you about my child and the young adult they are becoming but then I would have to tell if he’s a boy or she’s a girl and I’ve always stayed away from identifying but my child is becoming a wonderful person, their Faith is strong, their grades in school are good and as a parent I couldn’t be happier. I just wanted to check in and acknowledge.

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High school

Yes my child has started High school. Their growth and maturity has become so evident. Not as many funny and goofy things to report when they get closer to adulthood and my has this happened quickly but no less adorable and always amazes me.

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Happy Daddy’s Day

Happy Daddy’s Day, Father’s Day to me, my daddy and all the daddy’s in the World. Dad I love you very much. May God bless you all.

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Happy Mommy’s Day

You are the real heroes, all mommy’s. A shout out to my wonderful mommy, mom, mother, I love you so much. As you’ve gotten older, the only importance in your life is trying to keep your family together in a world with mixed messages and signals and where brother and sisters believe in different things. As the traditionalists would say, Happy Mother’s day!

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Teenagers and it all changes

Was I not strict enough when my child was younger? Have I created a child aloof, who doesn’t care about the things that bother me? Dad doesn’t like seeing dishes with food piled on top of food still in a dish, yuck. How about the spoon covered in sour cream that just gets dropped in the sink, or the spoon used for cat food just gets dropped in the sink. How about food left on a plate in their bedroom. Ugh. “I asked you to clean out the kitty box”. It sure would help dad if you emptied the dish washer for me.” The list goes on and on but they are getting closer and closer to adulthood. I guess this is the person they are becoming. I can nag, nag, nag or give an ultimatum. Suggestions?

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How Fast They Grow

My child is in middle school, soon to be in high school. They’re now too cool for daddy. Daddy is silly, not cool, a little bit irrelevant? They’re becoming young men and young women and it happens so fast. You just turn the page and the little kid is gone. I think they learn a lot about the world in middle school, what’s cool, what’s not cool. They look forward to the school dance and hanging with their friends. I used to save the school year’s work in a box and label each, I think 7th grade was hardly any and 8th grade almost no school work. I think they may be tossing the stuff before daddy gets to see. No matter how much I’m not involved, they’re still my babies and always will be. I’m an over protective dad and won’t apologize for it. I try to tell them ” I didn’t raise you that way” but don’t remember if I taught them that or not? I still love being a parent at my age. My friend asked me if I wanted to die alone and I said No but we kind of do anyways. I don’t want to be selfish for my happiness until my child is on their way, on their own in life. How fair would it be for me to tell a potential date that you might not be the number one person in my life. That isn’t fair to her but if I had a son or daughter, they have to be number one in my life.

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Working together with your ex to make better homes for your children

My ex and I have been divorced for 9 years, I still joke with people that I’m happily divorced. I hear so many stories of exes who hate each other. My ex and I aren’t like that, we’ve worked together to make a good home life for our children. If either needs to change the schedule we both accommodate. We’ve never used our children as pawns. If my ex wants to take my child on my day, we usually try to trade. We never argue about our schedules. Many of the hard and fast rules we stated in our mediation, doesn’t apply anymore. It is hard to raise children in separate homes with two sets of rules, especially when they become teenagers. I think my child is growing up to be a well rounded individual. I see traits reminding me of mommy but I think those traits are at least 50% diluted. In all seriousness, I feel like I picked correctly the individual I married and although the marriage didn’t last, the person I chose to be a part of my life was a pretty good choice.

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